Liskove › Questions for couples › 36 Questions for Love
36 Questions for Love: 60 questions
A 1997 experiment by psychologist Arthur Aron: 36 questions in three parts that bring two people closer, one step at a time. It ends with four minutes of looking into each other's eyes.
How to playYou both answer every question. Take turns going first, and each part goes a little deeper.
💞 36 Questions for Love
You can invite anyone in the world to dinner. Who gets the invitation?
All questions
🌱 Part I
A light, curious warm-up
- You can invite anyone in the world to dinner. Who gets the invitation?
- Do you want to be famous? What would you be famous for?
- Before you call someone, do you ever run through what you'll say in your head? Why?
- Describe your idea of a “perfect” day.
- When was the last time you sang just for yourself? And for someone else?
- Imagine you'll live to 90, and for the last 60 of those years you can keep either the mind or the body you had at 30. Which do you pick?
- Deep down, do you have a feeling about how you'll die?
- Name three things we seem to have in common.
- What are you most thankful for in your life?
- If you could change one thing about your upbringing, what would you change?
- You have four minutes: tell the story of your life, packing in as many details as you can.
- Tomorrow morning you wake up with one brand new trait or skill. What do you want it to be?
🌿 Part II
Deeper: memories and values
- A crystal ball is ready to reveal the truth about you, your life, your future or anything else. What do you want to find out?
- Is there something you've wanted to do for years? What's held you back so far?
- What do you consider the biggest achievement of your life?
- What matters most to you in a friendship?
- What's the memory you hold closest to your heart?
- What's the worst memory you carry with you?
- Say you found out you'd die suddenly a year from now. Would anything about the way you live today change? Why?
- In your own words, what is friendship?
- How much room do love and tenderness take up in your life?
- Take turns naming the good qualities you see in each other. Five each.
- Would you call your family close and warm? Looking back, was your childhood a happier one than most?
- What comes up for you when you think about your relationship with your mom?
🌸 Part III
Closest: honesty and trust
- Take turns making three true statements each about the two of you, starting with “We…” For example: “We're sitting here together right now, and we feel…”
- Finish the sentence: “I dream of having someone to share…”
- If we were going to become close friends, what's something important I'd need to know about you?
- What do you like about me? Go for full honesty this time: the kind of thing you'd never say to someone you'd only just met.
- Tell me about a moment in your life that still makes you cringe.
- When was the last time you cried with someone there? And alone?
- What do you already like about me, right now?
- Is there anything so serious that it's off-limits for jokes? What is it?
- If tonight were your last, with no chance to talk to anyone, what would you most regret leaving unsaid, and to whom? What's kept you from saying it so far?
- Your home catches fire with everything you own inside. The people you love and your pets are already out, and there's time to go back safely for one single thing. What do you grab, and why?
- Whose death in your family would be the hardest for you? Why?
- Talk about a personal problem you're facing and ask the other person how they would deal with it. Then ask them to say how they think you feel about it.
🦊 Fox Bonus
For couples who already know each other
- Which day of ours was so ordinary it was perfect?
- What do you remember about the day we met that I might have forgotten?
- When do you feel we're the best team?
- Which little habit of mine do you love most?
- How have you changed since we got together?
- When did you last feel especially good with me?
- What would you like to learn from me?
- What's the hardest part of being in a relationship for you?
- What's hard to talk about with me, and what could make it easier?
- Which of my gestures says “I love you” to you the loudest?
- Which story about us have our friends heard one time too many?
- What surprised you most about me when we first met?
- Where would you like to take me someday that I don't know about yet?
- How do you know you can count on me?
- What do you need from me on a bad day?
- What about us do you never want to lose?
- What is something I said that you remember longer than I would guess?
- When do you feel you have my full attention?
- What do I do for you that I don't have to, and you notice anyway?
- Picture us ten years from now, on an ordinary Tuesday night. What do you see?
- What do you love about the way we make up after a fight?
- What promise would you like to make me today, big or small?
- Finish the sentence: “With you, I can…”
- Tell me something you've carried in your heart for a long time but never said out loud.
How do I use these questions?
You both answer every question. Take turns going first, and each part goes a little deeper.
How many questions are in 36 Questions for Love?
36 Questions for Love has 60 questions in 4 chapters. All of them are free here, and in the Liskove app you play them together, even from far apart.
In the app, the questions come to you
In Liskove you take turns asking them, each of you answers on your own phone, and every conversation earns points for the fox you share.